Oh whoever whoever curses me, I’ll only look at you
Even when I’m born again, it’s still only you
(Still Still) Even as time goes by
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I’m afraid of living with my eyes open
Because I know if I look for you I won’t see you
It seems better to fall asleep exhausted
After longing for you
Monday, December 20, 2010
A Blog!!
Finally got a blog! Yay! I didn't realize I had one already, though. Looking at it now, I feel sort of strange... It's all dark and angst teen-like. Compared to this one... Actually I don't remember feeling dark and green before. But that's not saying much... I don't really remember 6th grade at all. Now I come to refer to it as my 'dark age'. I have to admit, I was just a sad, mopey, teen that thought that I was better than everyone else. I was this [image on left] and became this [image on right]. I fond something going through my myspace (I don't use it anymore). It's a poem, here's the first stanza:
How can you try to patch my broken heart
only to rip a bigger hole, left to bleed
stabbing over and over the only part
taking away my happiness, my smile, with greed
I look back at this and think, what did i have to be so darn depressed about in the sixth grade? I got good grades, had friends, family was amazing.... What was it? I was a incredibly negative person to be around. Must have been quite a sight, huh? I think I helped bring the 'emotional' trend to school. Peers must have thought it was cool to be so angry at everything. But I tell you, it isn't. I feel so much better now that different. I love smiles, whether they be on the faces of my peers, family, or myself. I think everyone looks at their best when they have a genuine smile. How did I change so?
Anyway... It's winter break, almost Christmas and the New Year. 2011! Where has the time gone? I miss school... Ive only been out for three days, but Commodore is actually looking alot brighter to me. I have the best friends ever, and [almost] everyone is really nice. Guess that's what happens when you finally open up. Omg. now the topic I've had on my mind for a while...guys. I've been told numerous times, by both people I know and people I barely meet to not let boys take over my mind. But they aren't taking over my mind, they're just in a corner of it. I got five candy grams. Is that the most I've ever gotten? Probably. I need to learn how to politely reject people. I don't like saying 'no' to people I barely know. Is that strange? A 7th grader keeps asking me out... And I have a feeling a few other 7th graders want to. I'm waiting for the right one to ome along though... A guy at a Christmas party played the piano for me.. and the guitar. He sat next to me in chairs when we had to get in a circle... He's nice enough, but the fact that he could play attractive (sexy) instruments just got him alot of brownie (sexy) points. I think he's way older than me, he has a job. Idk, he looked about 15 or 16. I watched some kids, because a lady asked me to. She said that she needed to get her older son.. And I was just losing air hockey to a 7 year old, when he walked in... I think that lady's trying to set me up :/ Well, I guess that's sort of like an honor. But still...
I keep getting told I'm pretty.. How do I respond to that? Complement back? Just smile and say thank you? A preacher said that if I go to the Philippines, alot of guys will be following me around. Why? He said because I'm from America and because I'm 'pretty'. Ssuurree. Oh well. So I met Uncle Erwin, Auntie Mia, Justin, Joshua, and random guy that plays instruments. :) All in three days :D
I LOVE YOU 5:44 AM